We All Need TLC
A hug, smile or encouraging word helps us navigate life’s stresses
A smooch for her daddy—Ricky Brown of Whitehall gets tender loving care from his 5-year-old daughter, Raniya.
As children, we run to our parents for comfort when we fall down, get scared or feel sick. As adults, we get comfort through a hug, a talk with a close friend or an “I love you.”
A little TLC (tender loving care) is essential to humans, says Danielle Goodwin, Psy.D., clinical psychologist with Lehigh Valley Hospital and Health Network—and the benefits can be seen from birth onward.
“Young children need lots of TLC for their emotional and cognitive development,” Goodwin says. When our parents hold us, rock us, tell us they love us and are responsive to our physical and emotional needs, they’re building a foundation that provides us with a sense of security and allows us to form healthy relationships as adults. “Making those connections becomes an instinct,” Goodwin says.
The teen years can be difficult for parents. A hug isn’t always appreciated by a moody adolescent. But feeling heard and understood is, Goodwin says. “Teens tend to rely on friends more than parents for support and advice,” she says. “By listening to and helping one another, they learn to understand themselves.”
For adults, TLC can be as simple as eye contact, a smile or a quick “How are you?” phone call. By this time in life, it’s clear to us that with TLC, you reap what you sow. “If you’re positive toward others, they’re apt to respond in kind,” Goodwin says.
With the elderly, guidance, support and patience—both verbally and with nonverbal gestures—are particularly important. Providing TLC at this age can mean helping with practical matters such as legal, medical and financial support, as well as taking time for regular visits. “Elderly people have difficulty with physical limitations,” Goodwin says, “so helping them meet their own needs provides them a comforting sense of personal control.”
Some people have emotional needs that can’t be met just by TLC. Seek professional help for a child who has a hard time forming relationships, is defiant at school or home, or seeks and then avoids contact with you. “He may approach you, but when you go to hug him, he pulls back and doesn’t accept the comfort,” Goodwin says. Counseling also may be appropriate for adults who lacked TLC as children and experience anxiety, are clingy or dependent, or have trouble relating to others and maintaining relationships.
Want to Know More about TLC and teens or the elderly? Call 610-402-CARE or click here.
Published from Healthy You Magazine, November-December 2008
This page last updated 10/27/08 11:46 AM
